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| I borrowed this picture from this page. |
When "jeggings" came into play, I thought, "Oh my God. I never have to wear pants again." And that was my plan, I was never going to wear pants again. At least not real pants.
Leggings were kind of a cool idea where you just have to wear long over-sized tunics or sweater dresses over comic book leggings so that your camel toe doesn't show, but hey, jeggings- these look like jeans and it has somewhat less obvious camel toe because you know it will kind of hide in contrast with the fabric.
It's really hard to find a decent pair of jeggings and so far I have had no such luck.
Of course, I can't find real jeans now either. I mean all of the jeans are "low waist" jeans which is stupid because it gives you a choice between mom jeans and half your ass crack showing which is not attractive. I've had love handles for years and it's like having an ass inappropriately placed on your back. Wearing a belt doesn't help because it just fits in the middle and just accentuates the ass-back.
It's just bad.
Anyway, I'm looking through the magic of the internet and I find these jeggings on Amazon. I think, "Okay. I might as well try these. They're six bucks and from China so I can at least wear them to find out if I even like the concept of jeggings before I invest in never wearing pants again."
I order these jeggings from China on Amazon and I think this is going to be the one thing that changes my life. "Oh my God, no more pants. OMG."
Then three weeks later, they come around in my mailbox. I open them up and they are thin. It's like a piece of fabricy paper that has been folded three times. I'm like, "Whatever." I go and put them on and it's like wearing nothing. I felt somewhat uncomfortable.
A few hours later my boyfriend comes in asking what the chemical smell is. I'm like, "I dunno." Then we go around trying to figure out what the smell of gasoline is. Then I go and I realize that, "Hey, there's a lot of warnings on the reviews that these pants smell like gas."
I lift up my ankle really close to my face and just smell my pants. I just take a huge whiff and it way smells like gasoline.
oh my god.
So I do the right thing and not tell him it's me. I just change out of them and admit they looked kind of stupid.
I washed them, but when they came out the jeggings somehow stretched and I was immediately stuck with these pants in order to get them to fit right on the bottom you have to pull them up just over your entire belly.
I didn't feel very confident like TV promised. I felt like Sally O'Malley from SNL. "I'm FIFTY! FIFTY YEARS OLD!"
I still refuse to wear jeans. Or take responsibility for buying them.
The internet said this was a good idea. You lied to me, internet.
